Friday, December 27, 2013

Review of "The Hobbit - The Desolation of Smaug"

This is my review of "The Hobbit - The Desolation of Smaug".  There ARE spoilers.  Continue reading at your own peril.

I'd heard a rumor that this movie comprised only two and a half chapters of the book but that is not the case:
  • Chapter 7 "Queer Lodgings" - they meet Beorn
  • Chapter 8 "Flies and Spiders" - they encounter the spiders of Mirkwood
  • Chapter 9 "Barrels out of Bond" - they are taken captive by Thranduil and the wood elves of Mirkwood and escape in the barrels
  • Chapter 10 "A Warm Welcome" - they arrive at Lake Town
  • Chapter 11 "On the Doorstep" - they search and find the "Back Door" to Erebor
  • Chapter 12 "Inside Information" - the Burglar earns his keep


The movie covers 6 of the 19 chapters in the book.

It appears that most of the discussion about the movie on the Internet stems from comparisons of the movie to its source material, The Hobbit.  The differences between the book and movie come from two sources: changes to the basic story and additional material added from the Silmarillion.

Let me eliminate the second category entirely from my discussion.  I LOVED the additional Silmarillion material.  While it forced the movie away from Tolkien's original purpose for his book as a story for children towards more adult material (like the Lord of the Rings), it provided necessary background material that better explained the significance of the Battle of Five Armies.  It turned the movie into epic fantasy.  [ By the way, the "Battle of Five Armies" was mentioned in the book near the beginning of Chapter 7. ]

But what about the changes to the basic story?

The chapter about Beorn had a number of deviances: the meeting of Beorn, the meal served by animals, another dwarf song (can you get enough of these?), and Beorn's warning about drinking the enchanted (cursed) water of Mirkwood.  In the book, the party met Beorn two-by-two; it's quaint by modern standards (like the shortened riddle game with Gollum under the mountain) and is perhaps why it was eliminated.  I'm glad we were able to see the honey bees and hives.  Beorn's protection of them once they'd left his house was consistent with the book.

The movie eliminated references to the black squirrels but did have cobwebs in Mirkwood nearly from their first entrance.  In the book, the party was "softened up" by Bombur falling into the enchanted stream and falling asleep so that they had to carry him.  Then the dwarves, out of food, encountered three fairy rings (classic high fantasy and fairy tales) with torches and food; pursuing these led them off of the trail and raised the ire of the king of the wood elves.  After being blinded by the third fairy ring, they were captured by the spiders (except Thorin who was taken by the wood elves).  In the movie, enchanted streams and fairy rings were abandoned and the dwarves were captured by the spiders and rescued by the elves, introducing Tauriel who is to The Hobbit what Arwen was to the Lord of the Rings (movies).  The movie did allow Bilbo to climb a tree and see the "black emperor" butterflies, but in the book, Mirkwood seemed to go on forever; in the movie he could see both Lake Town and the Lonely Mountain.

In the book, Bilbo spent about two weeks in the palace of the king of the wood elves, exploring it, finding food and shelter, and finally the location of the dwarves, almost exclusively wearing the ring, while the movie made it seem like it was mere hours (the sacrifice of the medium of movies).

In the book, the doors to the dwarves cells in the dungeon were solid (Bilbo had to speak to them through the keyholes); not so in the movie.  The doors were an artistic elven grillwork.

In the book, the barrels all had lids and air holes, we met the raft-elves, and the raftmen in Lake Town.  In the movie, it was like a "E ticket" ride at Disneyland (Splash Mountain?).  There was yet another final gate for the barrels to pass through which allowed another attack by the orcs and the arrow to Kili's leg which setup the party to be separated between Lake Town and the Mountain (I'm not sure what this added to the movie other than adding another extraneous reference to kingsfoil or athelas and Tauriel healing Kili).

In the book, the dwarves walk right up to Esgaroth ("Lake Town") and demand to see the Master.  When they do, they identify themselves and are feasted and pampered for two weeks, after which they head north up the Long Lake to the mountain; in the movie, they are snuck into town by Bard who changes to an antagonistic relationship with the dwarves when he realizes who they are.  Stephen Fry's main contribution to the movie role of the Master of Lake Town was his wispy moustache.  The movie added Alfrid, the Master's henchman, a more capable Otis to the Master's Lex Luthor.

In the book, Smaug's weakness is discovered by Bilbo during his second visit down into Erebor from the Back Door.  He communicates this to the dwarves on his return, is overheard by a large, black thrush (favored bird of the men of Dale), and passed onto Bard as Smaug heads down to Esgaroth to burn it to the ground (or, since it's built out on the water, down to the lake).  In the movie, Girion, Bard's ancestor dislodges one of Smaug's scales using up all but one of the "black arrows" which can only be fired by some kind of a dwarven crossbow there in Esgaroth.  What's it doing there?  It was there when Smaug arrived originally.  Did the dwarves predict this and present it to the Lake Townsmen as a defensive weapon?  [This is a huge plot hole.]  Bard now has one black arrow left in order to kill Smaug at the beginning of the third movie.  I hope he doesn't miss.

In the book, it took them two days to row north up the Long Lake to the Lonely Mountain.  I'm glad we didn't have to sit through that in the movie.

I'm not sure why Peter Jackson decided to split the dwarven party, leaving the youngest ones in Esgaroth.  In the book, the entire party traveled to the Lonely Mountain (even though the most overweight of the dwarves, Bombur and Bofur, were left at the bottom of the mountain and were pulled up by ropes before Smaug's first rampage after Bilbo stole the two-handled cup).  Granted, the large party wasn't fully used in the book.

There was a large focus in the movie on the Arkenstone.  This gem isn't even mentioned in the book until after Bilbo's second visit to Smaug.

In the book, Bilbo makes two trips down to Smaug in his lair (Erebor) and only talked with him during the second visit.  Each time Smaug leaves the mountain and looks for the dwarves, liberally applying his fiery breath to punish the thieves.  [Gollum called Bilbo a thief when he "stole" the Ring.]  The second time, Smaug proceeds down to Esgaroth to punish them as well.  In the movie, Bilbo's first visit is cut entirely so that Smaug only leaves the mountain once.

I have no clue why Peter Jackson decided to have the dwarves try to kill Smaug with the forges and molten gold.  Had he just watched the third Aliens movie where they tried to kill the alien with molten tin?  Yes, it made sense that the freshly poured gold had an outer skin that had briefly hardened and, when the molds were pulled away, the skin didn't hold.  It certainly didn't hold Smaug.  This was superfluous.


Conclusion?  From a story perspective, it's a different movie from the book and as long as you don't have high expectations of plot purity, you'll do fine.  From the added material from the Silmarillion, I'm still enjoying the broader epic material that this adds to the story.

Thursday, December 19, 2013

A Strong Tower - first comments

I just got comments back from my first alpha reader and learned two things:

  • Alpha readers really help to improve an author's writing.  Verb tenses, clarifying who's speaking, I had a "well-stocked bookstore" several hundred years before Gutenberg.  Thank you, +Esther Morrow.
  • Google Docs is a really good medium to share chapters and get very detailed comments back.  It's easy to interact with them.  Nice job, Google.

Saturday, November 30, 2013

NaNoWriMo - Day 30 (Final!)

My word count (in Scrivener) passed 50,000 words last night and that's what I posted up on NaNoWriMo but when I validated the word count in MS Word, it was only 46,700.  That's because I'd excluded 4 files of text (from the re-write of Chapter 7).  I re-included them this morning, since I actually did write those words, and validated my manuscript up on the NaNoWriMo website and passed!

Here's my final stats:



Here's the winner's banner that I can now post:




So, now I have an incomplete 50,286 word manuscript.  What's the next step?  Find some alpha readers and continue pushing it out to the end.  Then do a major re-write, find an agent, and see if I can get it published.

Woohoo!

Friday, November 29, 2013

NaNoWriMo - Day 29 (penultimate)

I completed almost 4700 words today for a Scrivener word count of over 50,000 words since November 1st.  I have to validate the word count in my manuscript on the NaNoWriMo website, so I decided to save the manuscript out as an .rtf file and load it into Word.  There the word count was only 46,700.  So, I'm still 3300 words short to complete NaNoWriMo.  I leave that for tomorrow.

Everyone is over in Jutland, even the observers.

Music: the Electronic for Studying Radio channel on Pandora.

Tea: Murchie's Prince Charles.

Headgear: Jayne hat from Firefly.

Thursday, November 28, 2013

NaNoWriMo - Day 28

Today was, gratefully, a good day for writing.  I completed a crumb over 4100 words today so that I just pushed myself over 45000 words since November 1st.

All of the work I did yesterday on the plot outline REALLY HELPED today.  I did find some things that I'd missed in the outline, but it really helped to know where everyone was at what time.  I've re-written most of that scene up to the point of the inquiry by the constable.  I'm concerned that if I cut out the original scene, its about 6000 words and that'll put me way behind.

I feel like there's a 3 axis camera on a telescoping boom in my head and I'm moving it around from one group to the next as I write.  I guess that's a good thing.  A real writer would talk about POV and perspective.  I don't know enough yet.

Everyone's still in Mæthelfar even though one quarter of the King's party has been moved over to Snoghøj in Jutland.  The couriers and the observers are still trying to play cat and mouse.

Music: the Electronic for Studying Radio channel on Pandora.

Tea: Murchie's Queen Victoria tea.

Wednesday, November 27, 2013

NaNoWriMo - Day 27

Today was a bit frustrating in terms of word count (only 1335 words) getting me to 41000 words since November 1st.

That mostly because I was wrestling with a difficult scene: the morning after a murder is discovered with the fishermen in the town pitted against the farmers and the constable in the middle.  Meanwhile, the King and his party are trying to leave town by being taken across the smallest of the Danish straits (called the "Little Belt") except that the sailors and fisherman are all involved in the controversy and none are willing to sail.  Then on top of that, our couriers are indirectly involved in the murder and are trying to remain inconspicuous.

I wrote most of it last night, but in re-reading it this morning, it was spaghetti, so plotting that out took all day.  Here's what just part of the plot outline looks like:

I then printed up a map and simulated the movement of each of the parties:


Needless to say, this all took time away from producing words towards NaNoWriMo.  Hopefully, I can use today's planning tomorrow .

Music: the Gregorian Chant Radio channel on Pandora and brown noise.

Tea: Murchie's Prince Charles tea.

Plotting Chart

I revised the Plotting Chart so that it now has time of day horizontally across it.  I'm at a part of the story where I'm having problems keeping track of who is where when...